Thicker than Water
by don't take me seriously
Summary: "But underneath the physical strength, there were two scared, slightly spoiled boys, arguing over something that was thicker than water, that hurt more than physical pain." Amorralok. Sequel to Smirk. And mature for a reason. Ot3 guys ok Ot3...
1. Return

Like I said, tentative sequel to Smirk, but it doesn't matter which you read first. The request was:

You probably already got this one…But, sexy blood bending? Perhaps orgasm denial or some sort of BDSM deal? I also really enjoy dialogue in a sex scene, and I don't mean cliche things, but I mean the whole "you're enjoying this aren't you? Your body is betraying you." type stuff. I hope I'm making sense, lol! Also, really enjoy your stuffs, KEEP IT UP! :D

— littleboynix

**Pairings: Amorra, Korrlok, Noalok, aka Norralok/Amorralok, **

**Chapter 1: **Return

**Rating: **T (AS OF THIS CHAPTER)

**Soundtrack:** What else is there

The thick stench of swamp gas rose off the water- Korra clamped her hand over her nose, unaccustomed to the smell. How anyone would choose to live here was beyond her, but she was sure it had its own unique charm once one got used to the bugs and the giant catgators and everything else the Foggy Swamp had to offer. Civilization had not made contact with this area for years. It remained, for lack of better terms, 'backwards-' the United Forces had difficulty getting anyone in to introduce technology or a working sanitation system, and as a last ditch resort, requested that Korra try to talk things through with them- introduce them to 'civilization,' if you will.

That was why the 24-year-old Avatar, after making her way through muck and swamp-vines, was surprised to see a small village of intricately-made huts in the center, little boats bobbing around the dock that served as a sidewalk. The center of Foggy Swamp Village was a giant tree- that was how she'd known where to walk- it was impossible to miss. Apparently, there was much mythos about the area- the roots of the forest had a deep connection to the spirit world, and within its deepest recesses there was a saying that the swamp would show you visions of the people you lost… the people you loved.

It was laughable to Korra. She'd loved plenty of people in her lifetime- never lost to death or misfortune, but rather personal carelessness or drifting apart naturally. That was what had happened to most of the old 'team Avatar,' though they still sent letters now and then, maybe the occasional telegraph. Mako was another story- Mako had drifted away completely, and Korra was left to ponder the remnants of their relationship alone.

She spent a lot of time alone these days.

"Hey there, complete stranger!"

This place was significantly friendlier than Republic City already, seeing as this was the first sign of human life she'd come across.

"Hey!" Korra called back in a friendly voice, waving her hand rapidly at the Tribesman, who was grinning back toothily.

Peculiar, the intricacies of his clothes; she had been briefed about these people and their tendency to wear little more than loincloths and foul odors. This man, however, donned a brown shirt with delicate green embroidery, the fabric rough, yet lovingly stitched. She pouted, perplexed, and the man's expression never changed, as though the smile was plastered to his face.

"You look lost! That's alright. The swamp can do that, but you sometimes find something in return."

"You guys don't seem to be lost-" she blurted out, immediately regretful. Tenzin always chided her lack of tact. "I mean, wow, this looks… better than what people have told me about! No offense."

"None taken young lady!" He looked at her boat- shiny (though coated with layers of the best goop Foggy Swamp had to offer) and whistled, impressed. "That's a mighty nice boat you got there!"

"Uh… thanks," Korra said awkwardly. "Supplied by the United Forces."

"I heard about them!" he said excitedly, helping Korra out of the watercraft in a gentlemanly manner.

"You did?"

"I sure did!"

"From…uh…who?" Korra said, raising an eyebrow skeptically. "We haven't made contact with Foggy Swamp for nearly ten years."

"Yeah you did," he said, scratching his head as head in complete confusion.

"No…we didn't…" Korra replied, equally confused.

"Eh, miscommunication or something. Come on. Let me show you around."

He waved his hand in the direction of a hut near the center of the village, windows and borders sporting a dull red color- where had she seen that red before? She followed, despite ill feelings, stomach churning with dread as they walked past smiling citizens, weaving cloth and hammering wooden furniture into place. They looked so content, a far cry from the disparity of unfed bodies and unhappy wealthy of Republic City.

So why was there fear causing tremors in her chest?

"Need me to refresh your memory?" The stranger asked, his cheeriness unfaltering. "A few years ago you sent us two very kind fellas to 'improve the conditions' of our little old hole here, and I must say they did a darn good job of it!"

They reached the entrance to the hut, wooden frame a brighter claret than the other fixtures. The door was open, a shadowy figure hunched in the darkness, fixing with something in his hands. She could not see his face, his back turned to her, but the obvious signs of disfigurement shone faintly- burn marks that blossomed across his bare back.

"And who might these two men be?" she whispered to her companion.

"Someone you lost, perhaps?"

Korra squinted. The man did not look up from his work- hesitated briefly, and the Avatar squinted, almost too absorbed in the presence of this stranger to notice her guide was wandering off already.

She said nothing. Obviously, she was supposed to talk to this man, whoever he was, but she didn't have the faintest recollection of Iroh informing her of a preexisting Foggy Swamp diplomat.

"Hello?" she called out, her voice sounding unusually weak and unsure.

"I'm busy," the man retorted, his tone low and ominous. Something about it was so familiar that it made the miniscule little hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She took a step inside, shielding her eyes from the sudden transition of semi-dark shade to nearly pitch black.

"Umm…hey," she said cautiously. "I'm Avatar Korr-"

"I know who you are," the gravelly voice said impatiently.

"Oh…that's…"

"If you don't have anything to contribute you might as well leave now."

"Excuse me?" Korra said, starting to feel pissed off. Who exactly was this non UN-sanctioned asshole to tell her she wasn't contributing anything? Korra braced herself and took about five steps forward, extending her hand towards his shoulder as though to jerk him towards her. Two inches from the mutilated flesh, and her hand stopped in midair, unable to proceed further.

"I know exactly who you are, Avatar Korra," he said, voice imbued with bitterness, tinged with regret. Korra tried to pull her hand back, but now it wasn't moving in that direction either. "This will be what…the third time you've ruined my life?"

"Amon," Korra realized, too late, her body constricting, out of her control completely.

"I don't go by that name anymore," he said casually, extending his arm, and Korra was thrown haphazardly against the wall. It was an all-too-familiar unpleasantness. Amon- Noatak, stood then, turning towards her so that the sparse shafts of light shining through the doorway were cast on his face.

There was no faking the scar this time. The way it bubbled across his chin, eating away at part of his ear and stretching around his eye. There was no reason to fake a scar this time.

"What-"

"My brother," he finished for her. "After you ruined everything for me, he decided to put us both out of our misery. He was ultimately unsuccessful."

Noatak stepped towards Korra.

"I threw myself into an explosion to save him. In return, I now bear the scar constructed by my own lie. Ironic, isn't it? And to think, we had finally found a chance at a peaceful life…Foggy Swamp, a place no one's touched in years…"

"Where's Tarrlok," Korra hissed, rubbing her elbow where it had banged against the wooden wall.

"Your only chance for escape, right? You think he would defend you…Tarrlok is remorseful for everything that happened. Everything that happened to you, anyway…if he'd had it his way, I'd be a pile of bones at the bottom of the ocean."

"That's- that's not true, Noatak-"

"You don't know Noatak," the man before her said, glaring down with an icy indifference, bending to her level and stroking her cheek. Another all-too-familiar feeling. His lips- they had not been touched by the fire, they were cool and rough, and pressed against hers, and the memories flooded back to her like a tidalwave of regret- she opened her mouth and allowed him entrance, their tongues doing brief battle before she bit down- he pulled away and smiled before she could draw blood.

"You only know Amon."


	2. traitorous blood

AN: I noticed this has been getting faves/updates but no reviews (cept from anons), which I totally understand. Just putting that out there- no one's pressured to admit to their enjoying this story because I know full well that it's uh...a bit fucked up. And for those of you who don't like delicious watertribe sammich, it's about to get worse. SO DON'T READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. There, I said it. No "but I won't update till I get TEN GOD REVIOWS" because I've been getting good feedback on tumblr already :) And also cause I'm not a dick.

Pairings: Amorra, Korrlok, Noalok, aka Norralok/Amorralok

Rating: M

Warnings: "well that's an interesting way to use bloodbending." oh yeah, and weird incestuous implications. IT'S NOT NONCON THOUGH WOW

Soundtrack: What else is there

Noatak's fingers twitched anxiously, and he remained crouched at her level. Korra made no effort to move from her place on the floor- what was the point? He would probably just fling her again. Perhaps she could settle this diplomatically for once. Force had never been the best way to deal with Amon.

"Korra the Avatar…Korra the healer…undoing all the hard work I put in place," he said with a sneer.

"And I'll undo it again if you try anything," she said with a quiet determination. "Go ahead- try to take my bending. Yours will be gone before you can even move that thumb of yours."

"So the rumors are true…she's mastered the Avatar State. How cute."

"You think it's cute now," she warned. "I can scarcely control myself in that state. I can't promise I wouldn't kill you."

"Oh, that's fine," Noatak returned. "I've survived worse. Go ahead and kill me. It would probably make my brother happy."

Korra's hard expression faltered. There was genuine pain in his eyes as he said this, which was absurd, because Amon had been pathologically distant from even his closest followers, and hadn't expressed even the slightest remorse at removing Tarrlok's bending or 'killing' his own Lieutenant.

"Don't be soft," he whispered. "I won't be soft with you."

"You already are," she retorted, and his gaze grew in its intensity, the scars around his eye crinkling in anger.

"I'm happy here," he uttered quietly.

Korra frowned.

"I was _happy here_! This was my _chance_ to _distance_ myself from that world that I hated! No more corruption! No more greed! A peaceful life with my brother, the life we always deserved!"

"I understand," Korra said, but as soon as the words left her mouth she felt her body tightening in pain again.

"You understand nothing. Are you going to pretend you didn't see me? Tell the United Forces to leave this little shithole alone because there's nothing here for them?"

"You know…I can't…do that…"

"You can. Only you can. You won't because you hate me. If not for me, then do if for my brother."

Tears were dripping down Noatak's face. Korra's eyes widened in horror and agony. He was losing control.

"If you won't…then you can just die-"

"Noatak!"

Korra inhaled desperately, vision growing hazy as his grip on her body slackened. Another large figure stood in the doorway, roughly hewn clothes still carrying that air of staunch dignity and elegance. His hair was worn loosely, a tribute to his fall from grace perhaps, but Korra thought, it actually suited him better.

"Tarrlok," she said weakly, but her plea was ignored.

"Noatak. You _promised_."

"She'll ruin everything for us-"

"YOU PROMISED!" he roared, and suddenly it was Noatak who was thrown against the opposite wall, his various projects scattering across the room. Noatak spit to the side, his well-kept hair starting to fall from its ties. Korra realized now that he wore his hair now as she always had. She didn't know why, but something about it resonated with her. Tarrlok twisted his hands and Noatak straitened his gaze- they were fighting each other now, a motionless battle that only made itself known through the awful sound of internal fluids sloshing. Korra felt sick.

"Please stop," she whispered, putting her hands over her ears. She genuinely thought the horrible noises would make her vomit. "Please…don't…I won't tell anyone you were here," she said weakly.

Tarrlok lowered his hands, as though just now noticing her. She noticed that his nose was bleeding, and he smeared it across his wrist carelessly. Noatak got to his feet nimbly, but made no effort to advance.

"Korra," Tarrlok whispered. Something about his expression was childlike and hopeful.

"Don't act happy, Tarrlok! Don't you see? She'll ruin us again! She'll set us back seven years!"

"You're the one setting us back, Noatak! 'I'm sorry, Tarrlok. After this, we'll never use it again.' You know what Korra's presence here means! It means we turn and face our fate with dignity! If she choses to turn us in, we go gracefully! Don't let her turn you into what you hate!"

"And yet, you used it right back," Noatak said with a casually bitter voice. "So it's ok to use it on me, but not on anyone else? I get it, Tarrlok. You hate me-"

"I don't hate you, Noatak-"

Korra rose to her feet, body wracking with tremors. She watched them warily, a small animal backed in a corner while two larger ones growled at each other. If she used the Avatar State now, she could end it, but something about that seemed dirty and cheap. If she removed their bending, would she really be fixing the problem? Or would she be just like Amon? Quietly, cautiously, she stepped between them, stretching her arms out in a peaceful gesture.

Noatak laughed.

"There she goes, putting her head where it doesn't belong. She's grown up pretty nicely, hasn't she, brother? I bet you wouldn't feel guilty about messing around with her now that she's only _half_ a child…"

Korra bowed her head, trying really hard not to get pissed off. Noatak was a master at playing people's emotions. She wasn't sure what he was getting out of goading them, but there was obviously a purpose to his actions.

"_Noatak_," Tarrlok said warningly.

"You always liked her. Even when she was jailbait you wanted her. You like those brash, irrational types."

"_I swear_-"

Korra's body was jerked in two different directions at once. She screamed in pain, but kept herself under control. It was starting to make sense, in some ways…in other ways…no…why would Noatak be jealous? Tarrlok was his _brothe_r.

"Do you want to touch her, Tarrlok? Go ahead, I won't judge you." Korra felt her body being shoved across the floor. She tried to brace herself, but Noatak flicked his wrist casually, and Korra found herself flying into Tarrlok's arms. He caught her gracefully, before she could slide to the floor, and held her onto her protectively.

"Why aren't you fighting, Korra?" Tarrlok said, his tone urgent.

"This is not my fight," she said weakly. "This is between the two of you."

"What's between the two of us is you, Korra. Don't let him hurt you," Tarrlok said calmly, helping Korra to her feet. He smoothed her hair out of her forehead. Korra blushed. Dear spirits, they were both pushing 50 and didn't look a day older than 30. But…wait…no…what was she thinking, this was Tarrlok and Noatak…they were both beyond insane already, and her presence only seemed to make it worse.

_That's it…they're upset at each other…I'm just the dummy between them…_

"If it helps to solve the problem, use me as you must," Korra said, remaining absolutely calm. She could not see Noatak, but Tarrlok met her gaze, his expression becoming that 'slick politician' smile he used to shoot the cameras in Republic City, looking over her shoulder at his brother. That was when she remembered that he was hardly the squishy little boy from his story anymore- he had a good 15 years of corruption under his belt to prove that.

_What on earth did I just agree to-_

"You're right, Noatak. Korra's a beautiful woman. And since you seem completely disinterested in her beyond your sad attempts to kill her, perhaps she does deserve someone who will treat her with the respect she deserves."

Tarrlok's touch became less polite and more invasive, but Korra tried not to show her fear or shock. Suddenly, she felt her body tense up. Tarrlok's grip on her body became like butter, and she slipped from his fingertips, padded feet dragging across the floor. It was clear from his expression that he was purposefully not putting up a fight. Suddenly, a different, far-less-gentle grip enveloped her. Tarrlok grinned wolfishly from across the room.

"Oh, so you do want her, eh Noatak? All those nights spent fantasizing about 'destroying' the Avatar…what exactly went on between the two of you?"

"My methods of manipulation aside, dear brother, I assure you my feelings for the Avatar are purely physical. I'm still above those weak 'emotions' you seem so fond of."

Amon's hand went strait under the waistline of her pants. Was he seriously going to feel her up right in front of his brother? His other hand squeezed her cheeks, forcing her lips to pucker so her gritted teeth were visible. He turned her face towards him, hand rubbing between her thighs.

"She doesn't seem opposed to us sharing, Tarrlok…I didn't know the Avatar was so dirty-minded…then again, I did my best to engrain myself in her mind…you on the other hand…I doubt she's spent half as much time musing over your pathetic self-"

Korra hissed in pain. Tarrlok was bending her again. Noatak easily could have fought harder, she knew he was prodigious even in comparison to Tarrlok's power, but he only bothered when she was about halfway across the room.

"Aaagh!" Korra screamed, her body feeling like it would rip in two. Her feet weren't even touching the ground anymore as she thrashed and writhed under the hold of her own traitorous veins.

"Still care to mediate, Avatar? Still having fun? It would be easier to just take both of our bending away, wouldn't it," Noatak said.

That was it- he was trying to provoke her into the Avatar state.

"You won't get what you want" Korra said, a string of saliva oozing from the corner of her mouth as she clamped her eyes shut. "This isn't about me anymore."

"This is all about you, Korra," Tarrlok said coldly.

"It is and it isn't, she's right," Noatak returned carelessly, throwing her back to his brother. This time, however, he manipulated her body, so that her legs wrapped around Tarrlok's waist, her hands grabbing his back for fear that she'd fall on her ass. She heard the other walking across the room, and suddenly the idea of the three of them being in such close proximity was terrifying, as was the fact that Tarrlok had become visibly aroused. What in the hell was this?

"Want to share, little brother? You haven't gotten laid in a while."

"Neither have you," Tarrlok said cooly, one hand supporting Korra's ass, the other twisting in her hair.

"As if anyone would want this hideous body…even the women here aren't that desperate."

Korra watched Tarrlok's expression grow ugly- it was partially angry, partially regretful. She remembered now that Noatak's scars had come from Tarrlok's attempted double-suicide.

"I can heal him, you know," Korra said calmly.

"I don't deserve to be healed," Noatak said, dead serious, and Korra's head was twisted cruelly from Tarrlok's grasp. Her legs remained clamped firmly around his torso, but her head was now viewing Noatak from upside-down. He had finally bridged the distance. Korra's heart pounded as his firm hands braced on either side of her scalp. She was pretty much staring at his crotch, and he was aroused too.

_What now?_

"Korra the mediator," Tarrlok said playfully. "Trying to fix what was broken nearly forty years ago. Look where that got you."

"I don't care," she insisted. "I said you could use me. If that means sexually, then by all means, go ahead. It's been a while for me too," she whispered lowly. Noatak's fingers twitched. She looked up at his face. She'd never expected to see a smirk that wasn't painted on a mask. It was an eager, animalistic look, but it was directed at Tarrlok, not at her.

And very slowly, one of his hands started to slide away from her hair…


	3. Undertow

An: Thanks to all the anons who reviewed. Like I said, not expecting anyone to come strait out and say they leik watertribe sandwich as i call it. Onward to the smut!

* * *

"Don't you feel strange doing this?" was all Korra could manage as Noatak freed himself from his pants, pulling the waistline down. Since he hadn't been wearing a shirt to begin with, he was completely nude now. Korra tried to look up at his face. It was difficult, because that's not where her head was right now. Noatak pulled her closer to him, the tip of his erection brushing against her cheek. His smile was rather condescending, but there was something painful about it, as though he knew what he was doing was wrong deep down. She could not see Tarrlok, but she could feel him taking similar measures. Due to Noatak's bloodbending she did not fall when he untied his shirt or unclasped his pants.

"Why should I feel strange?" Noatak said casually, pinching Korra' cheeks until she opened her mouth. "Tarrlok and I hardly had a normal upbringing…why should I pretend to act normal? Because you're here? Don't flatter yourself, Avatar."

Korra stuck out her tongue through her puckered lips, but that was probably not the wisest decision.

"mmph-"

"Oh look, she's finally quiet. Now I can talk to you, Tarrlok. How are you doing today? I've had three people stop in for repairs-"  
"Oh, you know, same as always-"

"That's good-"

As they spoke, they took her clothes off. Every time Korra thought she would fall, one of them would yank her back into position with bloodbending. Korra felt the sensation of something hard on Tarrlok's end pressing against her entrance. He pushed, but her body didn't yield- it was painful, even the first inch. After all, she hadn't been expecting this.

"You kind-of suck, you know, Noatak, she's not even wet right now."

"Probably because she finds you disgusting."

Korra wished she could see their faces, because their conversation was disconcertingly weird. She tried the hardest she could to pleasure Noatak from her strange position- maybe the upside-down blowjob sounded good in theory but it was really uncomfortable and he didn't seem to care. Korra's tongue ran across the surface of his dick tentatively. He shuddered. For some reason it made Korra's entire body grow hot.

"Do something about it, then, you're the one shoving your dick down her throat."

Noatak sighed. Korra's eyes shot open- there was a bizzare sensation of her entire bloodflow rushing to her lower extremities. She made a muffled sound, thick drops of saliva escaping her mouth and dropping onto the floor, and inhaled sharply through her nose. Noatak pulled out of her mouth, and she whimpered, lifting her head to look at him. If she wasn't wet before, she was getting there now, and at an alarming rate.

Looking at him didn't hurt either. For some reason, the scars spattered across his left side didn't make him ugly to her- if anything it was sexy.

He had thrown himself into an explosion to save Tarrlok. For all the cruel things he kept saying, there was obviously something more to him than he let on. The Amon Korra had known wouldn't have raised a finger to save another person if it meant endangering himself. This was not Amon. This was Noatak- miles of muscular skin, a faded tan from years of continual absence of sun- cold blue eyes, thick brown hair coming loose. Tarrlok- she could not see him, but she remembered him from her youth, their time on the task-force together, how his shoulders had stretched tauntingly under the exertion of waterbending gallons of liquid, the way his huge hands had bent her to his will- these were strong men. But underneath the physical strength, there were two scared, slightly spoiled boys, arguing over something that was thicker than water, that hurt more than physical pain.

Korra felt herself stretching on the end she couldn't see. Tarrlok grunted a bit. Obviously it had been a while- things tended to…tighten up down there, when you didn't see much action. Yeah, it hurt. Tarrlok was probably significantly bigger than any of the guys she had been with...recently anyway. Noatak watched her face as this happened, a very cold stare, as though taking in every second of her discomfort with a clinical satisfaction. His outstretched palm hovered over her body. Korra used to have nightmares about his hands, ripping her soul from her body, leaving her an empty husk.

He twitched his fingers. Korra felt her nipples pull upwards and let out a squeak. She hadn't been expecting that at all. Tarrlok had the audacity to laugh. The action caused her muscles to contract and expand rapidly, and he was in all the way very suddenly. She took a deep breath and allowed herself to melt into the strange pleasure that was being between the two of them. This was not what she had expected at all. This was to be a painfully boring diplomacy operation, and now…

Now Noatak pushed her upwards, not bothering to touch her, pushed her with his bending until she was holding onto Tarrlok again. Now that she could see his face- he looked smug as hell, like he was quite enjoying himself. Both of them were very frustrating individuals.

"Is it abusing our power if she enjoys it?" he asked Tarrlok.

"I suppose not," the younger brother said reluctantly. "Doesn't it bother you, though? You don't even like waterbending."

"What can I say? She brings out the worst in me. " Noatak tapped Korra on the shoulder. She was currently rocking against Tarrlok's body, letting out a series of small noises that were very un-Avatarlike. She turned to him with a hazy expression, and he held out his finger. She looked at it questioningly, and with a mildly irritated expression, he pressed it against her lips.

Korra slowly parted her lips and sucked, but the gesture was brief. Pulling the now saliva-coated digit out of her mouth, he looked at it dully as though considering his options.

"You know, we should really switch sides."

"Don't want to take the back end?"

"It'll probably hurt her."

"Why should we switch then. My dick is bigger-"

"I wouldn't know, I didn't look," Noatak said condescendingly. Korra watched Tarrlok's engraged expression. His motions grew rough.

"W-what are y-you even talking about?" Korra said through gasping breaths. Noatak didn't answer, just started to touch her somewhere he was most certainly not supposed to touch.

"What?" Korra squeaked.

"Oh, really. You expect me to take my brother's sloppy seconds? No, I think I'll have a go at this hole since my baby brother is so convinced that he can pleasure you adequately."

He started to massage her gently, sticking the wet finger inside with considerable effort. Korra's face flushed furiously, and she tossed her head from side-to-side in humiliation.

"Worried it's going to hurt? Because it is. But I was under the impression you liked pain, Avatar, you've been enjoying it so far."

"What? I haven't-"

Korra's entire body stiffened and jerked from her control. Tarrlok's eyes widened considerably. She started to fuck him significantly harder than she was physically capable of on her own.

"The hell, Noatak-"

"Aww, Tarrlok's blushing. Tarrlok likes it rough."

Both Korra and Tarrlok seemed to lose it momentarily. Noatak stuck another finger in while they were distracted with each other. Korra yelped.

"Needs to be loosened up first. Otherwise it'll be uncomfortable."

"It'll be uncomfortable no matter what! That's not what that hole is for-"

"I was talking about for me. I don't care if it hurts _you_, you consented to being used however we please. Or has your goldfish brain forgotten already?"

"I haven't forgotten! I just didn't know what a sick-"

Noatak's breath on her ear stopped her short. He was working another finger in, as much as he could anyway. Korra felt her pulse racing like mad.

"You really do have a goldfish memory, Avatar…care for me to refresh it?"

Korra's heart was trying to escape its chest like a frightened bird.

"None of this should be news to you by now."

His fingers were withdrawing…something else was going in instead. Korra winced. She looked at Tarrlok and he looked at her, their eyes tiny islands in tiny lakes on tiny little white planets. A sharp pain shot through Korra's backside. She threw herself forward, masking her tears by kissing Tarrlok, who looked at her in surprise before returning the kiss, cupping her chin and biting her lower lip with a surprising tenderness.

Noatak wrapped his arms around her, grabbing her breasts and moving into her slowly. Korra paused breifly. Tarrlok raised an eyebrow.

"Not that I'd expect you to understand, Tarrlok, but don't come inside of her," Noatak said with an almost bored tone, though the more he spoke, the more the deep growl of his voice was wracked with what Korra could only assume was pleasure.

"You always assume I'm an idiot, Noatak" he hissed, pulling Korra closer to him. Korra couldn't see Noatak's expression but she could imagine that insidious smirk that was reminiscent of a face not quite his own.

"That's because you are, more often than not."

Tarrlok's expression grew irritable. His hands clawed at Korra's back, and she moaned loudly. Noatak laughed.

"Almost there," Tarrlok groaned.

"Finish yourself, then."

"No."

"Yes."

Korra's body was out of her control again. She didn't know which one of them- or both- was trying to pull her away from the other. With a sharp intake of air, she felt her body spasm. It hurt her, but it must have felt good to them.

Tarrlok shut his eyes. Korra opened hers. The only noise he made was a quiet little hiss, as though to defy his brother's will, and then he let go. Korra's legs released him from their vice grip. Something hot was trickling down her thigh. Noatak pulled out a second later, but he hadn't ejaculated. Korra whimpered, entire body tender and utterly unfulfilled. She spread out on the floor, breathing heavily, rivulets of sweat dripping down her body.

"Did you want to knock her up? Think it'll be cute, eh bro? Continue our father's legacy-"

"Shut up."

"I don't know, maybe nothing will happen, but knowing your luck-"

"_Shut up_."

Korra stirred. She tried to sit, figuring it was over, but then Noatak was on top of her, pinning her arms down.

"We aren't finished, Avatar."


	4. Smile for me Once more

**Pairings: Amorra, Korrlok, Noalok, aka Norralok/Amorralok, **

**Chapter 4: Smile for me once more**

**Rating: **M.

**Warnings: **This chapter contains mentioning of rape. Specifically, what happened in the first chapter of Smirk. If you aren't squicked out by that, you might want to read it, because this is when the two fics start overlapping. If you are, it's not mentioned graphically in this fic so you're probably safe to keep reading unless you find that triggering.

* * *

"Don't tell me that satisfied you."

"No…"

Tarrlok coughed.

"I mean, that was really…amazing…I haven't…in a long time…haven't uh…so it takes a bit more-"

Noatak slammed himself into her mid-sentence. Korra let out a loud cry, but right now it was exactly what she needed. He wasn't bothering with interesting positions or bloodbending at this point. Those intense eyes told her all she needed to know- he was pissed, and she was his release.

_What exactly did I get myself into? I thought this might help…_

"You only make things worse," he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from Korra's eyes as he drove himself in and out of her. She thrashed and writhed, entire body convulsing with unexpected pleasure. "For us," he hissed, nails digging into her arms, his breathing heavy.

"For yourself…" his tongue ran its course up her body, and Korra whimpered, unable to move herself in response with his weight on top of her.

She heard a rustling of fabric and Noatak stopped grazing her neck for a few seconds, smiling against her skin. "Did you give up already, brother?"

"What use is there in me sticking around?"

"Oh, maybe you should, just for our sake…who knows what we might do to each other without your saintly influence…"

"Don't mock me," Tarrlok said coldly. Korra strained her neck to see him, and Noatak bit it somewhat harder than necessary. "You're the one who should be watched. Is that what it takes to satisfy you? Go ahead. I'll make certain you don't harm her."

Noatak brought his mouth away from Korra's neck just long enough to retort "As if you could do anything about it anyway." Korra could hardly hear them- the pressure was building up in her ears, her voice rising to a fever pitch. How did Noatak always manage to talk through these things? She squeezed her eyes shut, entire body wracking from the sheer pleasure_. I can't do it…I can't…this has to…_

Korra's legs spasmed uncontrollably, causing Noatak to groan, pushing her away from him, even though she had nowhere to go, though, just flush against the floor. He continued to hold himself at distance as they both climaxed, her eyes shooting open in desperation. His expression was unexpected- it lingered in a zone between anger and pain, and made itself known to her for the first time at this moment, as she stared at him wide-eyed. No peaceful smile returned to her- just raw emotion and two fat teardrops that hit her face like watery bullets.

_Are you disgusted by me? Why? Because you can't hide your face anymore? Because you're no longer in control? _He withdrew himself entirely, then collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily. She thought she could feel Tarrlok's gaze burning into their backs.

"If you're done, I'm sure she can quite defend herself against you," he said, and she heard his footsteps, heavy at first, then fading to the faintest whisper.

* * *

Korra found Tarrlok crouched on the deck, looking out at the rising swamp gas. People walked by and waved hello to him, and he raised his hand in a tired greeting, only abjectly looking away when it was Korra's turn to approach. She put her hand on his shoulder and wrenched him towards her, and he growled slightly, like a predator disturbed from slumber.

"Why are you so cruel to him," she asked, and Tarrlok's expression became so enraged and tense that she worried he might be bloodbending himself.

"Are you really asking me this," he said coldly, and Korra jerked his shoulder again, so his head lolled uselessly before he finally looked at her, eyes tired, face clammy and paling. He did not look like someone who'd just had a raunchy love affair- more like someone who had seen a ghost.

"What was the point of that, if you were just going hurt him again-"

"Me? Hurt _him?_ What is wrong with you, Korra-"

"-Probably a lot-"

"Considering the man _raped_ you seven years ago when you were naïve and idiotic enough to think challenging him alone was a good idea-"  
"It's not like that-"  
"It is. You're the one who thinks it _isn't,_ Korra-"  
"Can we not talk about this so loud?"

Forcing him up and dragging him down the docks, into an alley between the giant tree and wooden village, until they were out of earshot of everyone, Korra smacked him across the face. Tarrlok rubbed his cheek indolently, as though bit by a mosquito even as it reddened- she'd hit him hard.

"That was for what?"

"For being an asshole! I don't care what you think Noatak did to me- whatever that was, whatever Amon was, that is not your brother-"

"You make the mistake of differentiating between them. The difference between a monster and another monster is what exactly?"

Korra gritted her teeth.

"He's played mind games with you, Korra, and he still is, acting like he's changed, like he's a different man, not that scary voice that used to give you nightmares. What was his first reaction to seeing you? To use the ability he –swore- never to use again-"  
"You used it too-"

"I never said I wasn't a monster!" Tarrlok growled, and Korra backed away dizzily from the sheer anger in his voice, lightheaded and flushed. "I tried to kill us both. We were- we ARE beyond redemption. And what does that asshole do- he brings us back from out watery grave, gives me back my bending, has the nerve to laugh and smile like he didn't fuck up an entire city and an innocent girl's mind-"

"He didn't-"  
"The fact that you think he didn't is proof enough! When you met him in that temple, did you think you would be ambushed?"

"I-"

"Did you expect your enemy to caress you like a lover? To defile you in front of the statue dedicated to the purity and goodness of your past life? If that's what you wanted then by all means, I had the entirely wrong idea this entire time-"

"I _wanted_ him."

"He _made _you want him, Korra. That's what he does best- worms his way into your mind until you can't get him out-"

"Aha!" Korra exclaimed, pointing right at his chest. At least his color had returned, because he was looking dreadful earlier.

"What," Tarrlok spat irritably.

"You want him too!"  
"That's absolutely, vile, Avatar-"

"That's exactly what's bothering you, isn't it? You know it's wrong, and it keeps you up at night-"

Korra's words were cut off. He was choking her, not with his hand- not directly anyway, but she felt it, his grasp on her throat as it constricted and his fingers twitched restlessly in midair. He looked so crazed then, so horrified, that he resembled a frightened child. His grip lessened, and Korra, against the wooden back of a building, rubbed her own neck as he released her, taking deep, gasping breaths.

"Everything okey dokey?" A swamp-tribesman said, peeking his head around the corner.

"Everything's fine, Sento, just had an argument."

"Err…you should meditate!" he said, trying to attempt cheerfulness while looking between the two of them awkwardly, bowing and ducking out of the alleyway.  
"I think I'll do just that," he said dryly, and stormed around the corner himself, leaving Korra tense and aching all over.

This was the most difficult diplomacy mission ever.

Having nowhere else to go, Korra returned to Noatak. He was standing, looking out the window, and turned towards her as she entered the still open doorway. Now that she thought of it, it was really odd that no one had heard them or come in earlier.

* * *

"You're back," Noatak said. "Why." It was not a question, it was a sigh. A why are you still tormenting me sigh. An 'I want to be alone' sigh.

"We need to talk."  
"Don't treat this like a relationship."

"What is it, then? You continuously harassing me at any chance I get? Bringing your brother into it now?"

"You hardly seemed to mind ten minutes ago."

"Maybe I have problems, ok, but so do you, and you're not doing anyone any good by refusing to talk about them! If there's one thing I learned from the hell you put me through, it was how to talk to people, and trust them!"

He made a noise that sounded an awful lot like a brief chuckle, looking up at her, the scorched skin around his eyes glinting in the windowlight.

"Do you trust me, Avatar?'

Korra's eyebrows knitted together. She nodded resolutely, after a brief consideration.

"And Tarrlok, you trust him?"

"I do."

"Then you're a fool."

Noatak stood, pacing across the room a few times, before he stopped at her side. He was looking at her- longingly? It seemed so, and he reached his hand for one of the strands of hair hanging near her cheek, brushing against her skin. For some reason, it was so gentle, so unexpected, that it was far more frightening than anything he'd said yet.

"The only thing you can trust, is for people to act according to their natures, which are more often than not, deeply flawed. Would you defy nature for me? We can undo the physical scars, but the mental ones…can those be touched?"

His hand fell to his side, and he gazed into her eyes, a smile crossing his lips, even as she finally recognized Noatak for what he was-a broken man, unable to overcome the pain he had weathered, a smile frozen in place, for fear that it would vanish forever.


	5. Unbecome

A/n: guys, your reviews are seriously touching and I love you all and I seriously go back and read them all the time when I feel sad, thank you so much for being so supportive of my stories.

* * *

The silence was so thick no sword could have cut it, and he continued to smile, Korra's skin crawling until she finally breathed and murmured the first question that came to her mind.

"Do you have a shower I can use?"

He looked at her with a lightly amused expression, as though everything he had just said was another example of his terrible sense of humor.  
"We're in a swamp, Korra, take a guess."

"But- you guys-"

"Clean running water is a scarce commodity here. We do have showers, but they're public, and everyone shares them."

Korra looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Really now, you're choosing this point to be shy? Need I remind you everything you've agreed to and done within the past hour-"

"Where are the showers?" Korra said quickly, obviously not having the goldfish memory Noatak proclaimed she did. "I feel really disgusting."

"Thanks."

"I had to make my way through miles of swamp to get here-"  
"Double thank you. If you walk down the main deck and take a left, there is a fenced off portion for showering."

"All right," Korra said, looking back at him briefly. "You aren't coming?"

He chuckled.

"Maybe you should listen to my brother when he talks about me. He's not very smart but he has a point…sometimes."

Korra wrinkled her forehead and left before she could get any more frustrated. Walking down the boardwalk, she tried to ignore the friendly smiles and curious looks shot her way, looking to her left for the telltale fencing. As he said, it was there, difficult to miss, rising from the ground like a wooden fortress, the telltale hiss of water resonating from the other side.

Placing her hand on the door to the wooden barricade, a series of footsteps caused her to whirl around.

'I wouldn't go in if I were you," a woman whispered conspiratorially, her wide, innocent eyes and nervous smile somewhat endearing, but also obnoxious to Korra, who just wanted to take her damn shower without a billion peppy foggy-swamp villagers interrupting. "I usually don't mind sharing, but Tarrlok's in there, and he's in a bad mood."

"I don't mind, really," Korra said, and the woman tilted her head, as though just now noticing Korra, before offering her a welcoming smile and a question-

"Wait, have we met before?"

"New here," Korra grunted.  
"Oh, ok then! I'm Akannak."

"Korra."

They shook hands. The sound of a large amount of water hitting splashing against something behind the wooden fence caused her to jump a little. The woman seemed to have a bit of a nervous problem, or perhaps just found Tarrlok intimidating. Korra wouldn't blame her on that one.

"Yeah I'm going to go now. Good…luck? Sharing…the shower…" she raised an eyebrow, and Korra shrugged, pulling her shoes and arm accessories off, untying the pelt from her waist. When she was fully undressed, she held her clothes in her arms and pushed the door open, figuring she could wash them too, while she was in there.

The bathing area was a decent sized square space with wooden floors and high walls. There were stalls, but they had no doors or anything, just wooden walls and a large trough overhead with a complicated filtering system that Korra figured the brothers must have invented. The farthest stall must have contained Tarrlok, but she could not see him from this angle, just heard the aggressive sounds and saw the water pooling beneath the barrier. Whatever, she hadn't come here to talk to him anyway- it was clear that he was still pissed at her after her earlier comments. Turning the faucet, Korra was met with a spray of ice-cold water that was unexpected in the muggy heat of this swamp. She yelped loudly, mostly because she'd expected the water to be tepid like the swamp's. Over in the far stall, the sound of splashing stopped for a brief second. Korra blew fire into her hands and shivered. She suspected that Tarrlok had changed the temperature of the water, though he honestly didn't seem like the ice-cold shower type. There was no temperature valve on the faucet, either, just one knob, and Korra danced around in the spray for a minute, trying to get used to it. It wasn't entirely unwelcome, just unexpected. After a while, Korra settled down, her limp, untied hair dripping beneath the showerhead and stared sullenly at her feet.

What was this situation? This was not something she was ready to handle- she was still recovering from the incidents of seven years ago, and now he was back- they were both back, and oh Spirits, had she really slept with both of them? At once? It had seemed natural at the time- a way to bring them closer, to quell the rage they harbored for each other, and for her. Now it seemed stupid. Sex always caused more problems, if anything. And Tarrlok- the things he had said, his hatred for his own brother founded in disgust for what he had done seven years ago…done to her…

Korra's eyes stung. Her tears were warmer than the shower, but fewer, and it had seemed like forever since she had cried about this- she hadn't even cried when she was going through it, but Tarrlok's words hurt, hurt as much as Noatak's actions, and it was confusing and disconcerting and she wasn't sure how to handle her feelings, because they just –didn't make sense- at this point.

She knew Noatak was warped. She knew that everything he had done to her was terrible and wrong, but it didn't stop her from pitying him, from wanting to help him, and it probably was the result of her own spiritual awakening, and how he had brought it to fruition. It hadn't been his intention to help her grow- he had wanted to destroy her, to break her, and instead he had made her stronger. And part of her growing stronger had been the newfound ability to express weakness- weakness that was coursing through her body and bringing her to her knees and suddenly Korra was sobbing, sobbing far too loud-

"That's an unbecoming sound, Korra," came a quiet voice, soft hands bracing her naked back, arms wrapping around her shoulders, her neck…

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, feeling his skin against hers, warm, heavy, comforting.

"What on earth are you apologizing for?"

"There's something wrong with me, you're right," she wailed, turning to face him, crouched to her level, buried her face in his chest, his long hair tickling her nose- long…she remembered when he had cut it, chopped it all off and let it fall away like a heavy burden…that was the moment Korra had stopped hating him…

"That's not your fault-"  
"It's not his fault either," she whispered, lips brushing against his skin, tears mingling with sweat and cold water.

"The circumstances of your past do not excuse the actions of your future self…do not mistake Noatak as a child for Amon-"

"Then why do you hate him now for who he was before?" she cried, hating how weak she sounded, weak, but weak was good, weak meant feelings, it meant admission of flaws-

"I don't hate him," he whispered, embracing Korra, holding her like Tenzin once had when she'd cried, but this wasn't like Tenzin, it wasn't, it was different- for one they were both naked, and for another Tarrlok was not patient, he was not loving, he was none of those things, and that he should be the one to comfort her now was some perverse irony Korra was not ready for.

"I don't hate him," he whispered again. "I hate myself for not hating him."

"Don't hate yourself," she whispered. "Both of you…you need to stop-"

"It's a bit late for that, Korra," Tarrlok said firmly, stroking the top of her sopping wet hair- she was aware that they were still in the shower, the icy water, the thick air and heat of the swamp mingling with the chill and filling her lungs with a mix of bitter extremes, the emotions within her circling, circling like twin fish that could never stop_- love or hate, love or hate…_

"When did you change your mind about me," she whispered, looking up into his eyes, his stringy dark hair hanging over them like tattered curtains, the lines on his face contorted with agony. Holding her tight, pressing her face against him, he brought his lips close to her ear.

"When your mind changed," he whispered. It was quiet then, nothing but the sound of cold water pounding, trickling down the wall of the shower, across their skin. He smelled so strange- it was not the harsh coppery smell of his brother, but a sweet, musky one, that permeated the air like a peculiar flower, like fruit and sun kissed skin and thick, oily hair. She remembered Ikki claiming he smelled like a woman. Ikki, training to become a policewoman now, still vivacious as ever, but no longer filled with overwhelming sugar-high of hyperactivity that defined her childhood. She thought of Tarrlok then, tried to bring those two childhoods together, perhaps imagine a world where he had been loved and encouraged and taught he was a worthwhile human being. Would he have been the same? Would Noatak have been the same?

Korra felt a twinge of regret gnawing at her- an apology to her old self, perhaps, that longed to escape her lips, but would only fall on deaf ears. The self that would have died miserably before she found herself in Tarrlok's arms. The self that would never have given her body to both of them to quell an argument better suited to elements and fists. Korra at age 17 would have hated this person in her body. But Korra at 17 was no less weak than the Korra of today- just a different kind of weak, one that refused to acquiesce in the face of adversity, but would crumble under the slightest emotional turmoil, one that didn't know how to handle feelings and relationships, who could have solved the problem sooner had she opened her mind a little…and perhaps, then, this world would not exist, a world where she, naked, embraced Tarrlok and cried over her failures as an Avatar and a person.

When your mind changed, he had said, but what he had meant was when she'd grown up. And growing up had meant reducing the flames within her to mere sparks, which grew dimmer by the moment.

"You were right, Tarrlok" she said quietly. "I didn't want him. He made me want him. He moved all the pieces of the game to make me crave his touch, then pulled back when I needed him most. But you were wrong, too- he had a reason, otherwise he wouldn't have done it with such deliberation, reduced himself to such a monster for the sake of one girl. Amon wanted to be a hero…he was trying- oh god, it's so wrong to say, but he was trying to teach me a lesson, to show me what a hypocrite I was, to…to make me understand him."

"He could have done it in a better way."  
"It was the only way he knew how."

Noatak, no more than 50 yards away physically but oceans away in his mind, cleaned up his workroom, untied his hair, and stared into the bucket of rainwater in the corner, watching his charred reflection ripple with significant disgust. He moved his hand to cover his face, splaying the fingers and looking between them, his own silvery-blue eyes glaring back through an inadequate mask. The water lurched and he turned away, dragging his feet across the floor with an uncharacteristic lack of grace, until he stepped into the slightly less dark shade of the great tree that supported their village.


	6. Lost

a/n: You are all beautiful, beautiful people. Enjoy your half a sandwich while Noatak contemplates making sushi.

* * *

When the last of her tears had been washed away with the shower, Tarrlok stopped embracing her and stood, helping her to her feet. Korra wrung out her

hair, flicking droplets from her skin and watching them hover.

Waterbending. The healing element, it never seemed capable of evil to her before she met them- it was her native element, stories of bloodbending told by

Katara had always seemed like a far cry from the norm, some sinister fantasy. She looked at Tarrlok- he was turned to the side now, as though somewhat

ashamed that she should see him nude, his surly expression and slightly defensive posture disturbing for an adult man. She had never really noticed how

much of a child he was sometimes. The black-and-white thinking, the temper, those pouts that graced his face every so often…they had so much in

common, and she'd spent a good portion of her 17-year-old life trying to deny it.

A child. Just a child. Both she and Tarrlok remained kids at heart, unlike Noatak who was not a child, who could never be a child past the age of five. The

flame that had been reduced to a spark, the girl Korra mourned over seemed an unfair luxury- Noatak did not have the memory to mourn- his spark had been

extinguished and his soul left to wither.

What, then, was she thinking, trying to fix them?

Tarrlok too, flicked away the water from his dark skin, putting his clothes back on while Korra washed hers. He waited patiently for her to finish.

"What will you do now?" he asked casually, as though the entire exchange of tenderness had been imagined. "Will you go back and tell them the swamp tribe

has been 'civilized?' how will you explain our presence here?"

Korra wrung out her shirt and drew the remaining moisture into her hand, tossing the water aside and pulling the fabric over her chest. The rest of her

clothes followed suit, and when she was finished they looked at each other. He appeared very tired at that moment.

"I've been thinking about that," she said, pulling her hair up into its characteristic ponytail. "Listen, I'm not sure how I can get past the fact that you were

here, unless I neglect to say who you are in specific. You could be anyone for all they know."

"And what precisely made you change your mind about protecting us?"

"I haven't changed my mind," she said quietly. "I'm just considering my options. I was given a week to build relations and then-"

Korra's eyes 's frustrated expression melted to worry, a sharp inhalation punctuated his silence as he awaited her next words. When they did not formulate

fast enough, he lost his patience.

"What?" he hissed, clawing at his hair irritably. "Please say the situation isn't about to worsen."

"They're sending another envoy to check on the progress and aid me."

Tarrlok looked at her blankly. "I get the feeling there's more to it than just an envoy."

"It's someone they know I work well with," she said, wringing her hands nervously. "And someone who was born here."

"Does this 'someone' have a name?" he groaned.

"Tahno" she finished,digging her nails into her forehead. "It's Tahno."

"Tahno," he said, and she saw the realization dawning on him, etched into the worry lines between his brows. "Tahno…the sullen one with the droopy eyes-

the pro-bender Tahno-"

"-Ex pro-bender-"

"Because of my brother," Tarrlok finished with a groan. "What are the chances of him forgetting what I look like?"

"Considering you saved his life? Slim to none."

"And Noatak-"

"Tahno isn't as stupid as his hair would have you believe. He can fill in the gaps."

The mutinously constipated look on Tarrlok's face was a bit comical, actually. He started to pace and mumble to himself. Korra interrupted his meltdown after

a bit, realizing that Tarrlok wasn't exactly one to keep a cool head under pressure.

"So I'm guessing you don't have a plan?"

"I don't exactly sit awake at night planning for you to destroy my life, that's more of my brother's thing."

"Well then why don't we ask him," Korra said with a mock patience. "Maybe he has a brilliant disguise. Hopefully one that's waterproof this time."

Tarrlok's response was to punch the wall. Korra thought nothing of it at first, since she often did such things when she was upset, but she was an

earthbender and those were stone walls- Tarrlok was hissing like an angry water moccasin, and when he pulled his fist away, she realized in horror that his

hand was now covered in splinters and bleeding. Oh.

"What is wrong with you?" Korra cried as the reality of it sunk in.

"It's nothing," he said callously.

"You're bleeding all over the place! Heal yourself or something!"

"I can't," he said coldly, and Korra paused for a second, brows shooting upwards.

"…Wait…" she said slowly, disbelievingly.

"You heard me. I don't know how to heal."

"You…"

"Are you deaf as well as stupid? I don't know how to heal. I was never taught."

Korra bit her lip.

"Let me see your hand."

"No thank you."

"I said let me see it!" she growled, lunging forward and grabbing the arm he had drawn behind his back. He acquiesced, bloody palm unfurling, and she flipped

it over, his knuckes raw and torn.

"That was stupid of you," she whispered. "We'll have to take all these splinters out before I can heal you, now. Why on earth did you do that?"

"It wasn't intentional, I was just angry," he spat childishly.

"You have anger problems, Tarrlok," Korra said, shaking her head and dropping his hand. He allowed it to hang uselessly at his side, a single drop of blood

trickling down his fingers and splashing onto the wooden deck.

"That should be obvious by now."

They exited the shower area, Tarrlok holding his wrist gingerly and assessing the injury with a disdainful interest, as though the hand belonged to someone

else.

"Where do you live," Korra said quietly, trying to ignore the curious glances from the Foggy Swamp tribe as they walked across the main deck.

"Near Noatak's workshop. He lives above it, I am a few houses down."

"Do you have tweezers?"

"No," he sighed.

"Thought your brows looked thicker than before-"

"Don't go there, Korra."

Tarrlok stopped in front of a wooden structure as unremarkable as any of the opened the door, his room as immaculate and clean as his office had been in

republic city, but far less impressive. Korra began lighting candles as he opened the blinds. When the room was sufficiently lit, he sat down in a plain wooden

chair with a sulk, strands of long hair obscuring his eyes. He started to pull splinters out of his hand one by one, tossing the bloody pieces of wood to the

floor carelessly, wincing every time.

"Here," he said, showing his raw knuckles to her nonchalantly.

"You two should learn how to heal," Korra said, drawing water from a bottle on the table next to him and holding it over his hand.

"Noatak knows how," he said as the glowing water enveloped his bloody flesh, the stain lifting from his skin like paint and coloring the liquid a sinister pink.

Korra tossed the water in the sink. "He taught himself."

"If he can heal-"

"He used it to heal my wounds after the explosion, and neglected to treat his own."

Korra and Tarrlok let an awkward silence overtake the room, a spitting candle causing a sharp jolt back to reality.

"What are we going to do about Tahno," she whispered, and Tarrlok sighed audibly.

"Must this decision be made now?"

"Yes? Do you want to leave it until the last minute and screw yourself over?"

"Frankly, I don't care."

Korra grabbed his arm and dragged him to his feet.

"Listen. Maybe the two of you don't give a shit about yourselves, but what about everyone else in this village?" Korra hissed, drawing herself up to his height

as best she could. "Because they sure seem to like you a lot. And as useless and horrible as you think you are, you've brought a lot of positive changes into

their lives. They idolize you. The man who brought me to your brother wouldn't shut up about how you improved things for them. And you're going to let the

United Forces come in here and fuck up the village to take your terrorist brother into custody- oh, and I doubt he'll go down without a fight- just because

you can't be bothered to care about anything for five minutes? Great, Tarrlok. Great. You are definitely not the man I thought you were."

Tarrlok looked ready to punch the wall again, but then his fist relaxed and fell to his side uselessly. He looked at her- they were almost nose-to-nose, and

pouted absurdly.

"You're a full-fledged Avatar now, aren't you."

"Damn right I am."

"Always looking out for people. But tell me, Korra."

Their eyes bore into each other, and his gaze was so intense that she actually felt a little intimidated. It wasn't angry- it was…was it pitying? No- don't-

"When did you forget how to to look out for yourself?"

She backed away with a grimace, shaking her head in frustration. "Let's just talk to your brother, ok? I don't need to hear this from the guy who punched a

wooden wall."

* * *

They walked the short distance to Noatak's workshop, but he was absent, the house eerily silent. Tarrlok made his way upstairs and shouted for him, but

there was no reply, just the sound of doors creaking and banging before he came back.

"He's not here."

"Is that normal?"

"No. He hardly ever leaves his house."

Korra looked around the room for any clue where he might have gone. Looking at all the crap lying around, it occurred to her just how little she really knew

about Noatak, and how little she understood him. For a long time, Noatak- Amon, rather, had been a totem on which she focused her hate, the confused

feelings and pains of adolescence needing a name for which to blame her suffering.

Amon.

Noatak.

He was right- she did not know Noatak. She only knew the man Noatak had pretended to be, and the painted smile he had used to haunt her. The motives

of the man named Noatak were as far away from Amon as the north and south poles.

"Where might he have gone?"

"Honestly? I haven't the faintest clue. He does not socialize anymore, unless people come to him. He sticks to his projects."

The two stopped back into the shade of the great tree, Korra closing the door behind them gingerly, taking one last look at the shadowy workshop. Tarrlok

was looking over the deck, frowning. Korra joined him.

"Your boat is gone."

"What?"

"You heard me. He stole your boat."

* * *

"Can't you row any faster?"

"No."

"Do you know how to waterbend a motor?"

"It looks stupid."

"I don't care if you look stupid."

"Well I do," Tarrlok hissed impatiently. Korra tried flailing her arms like windmills in retaliation, the boat spinning out of control, and they promptly crashed

through about twelve trees before he grabbed her arms, knocking her over.. Tarrlok leered down at her, bits of sticks and foggy-swamp-moss caught in his

hair. Korra smirked.

"Acting like your brother, much?"

"You're assuming I'd actually do something to you. Don't compare me to him."

"Well why not? We're alone, aren't we?"

"You have issues, Korra."

"I wasn't serious."

"Well don't joke about that sort of thing." He stood up, looking flustered, and resumed rowing at a leisurely pace. Korra bent over the side of the boat and

pouted, looking at her reflection in the muddy depths of the swampwater.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"I'm getting us lost."

"What?"

"You obviously don't understand the way this swamp works, Korra. Finding something within the swamp is a spiritual process. Once you start seeing

hallucinations, you know you're headed towards the right place."

"That makes absolutely no sense!"

"It does. Miss spiritual doesn't understand? Allow me to explain things to you, Korra- the swamp is a living portal to the spirit world. It gives you visions of

the people you've loved and lost, and in your desire to reach out to those people, you lose your mind. Noatak must have lost himself intentionally."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he's upset. Listen, your return here, your presence in this swamp, it is upsetting to him. He lives in a constant state of denial of his past life and

deeds. I've already told you what I think of this- it is no excuse for his actions, but in his mind at least, there is a clear division- Noatak and Amon are not

the same person. That someone should recall the impulses of his other persona, make him act upon them again- he is confused. I should have seen this

coming. Noatak's first instinct at the sign of trouble is not to fight- it is to retreat."

"And so he's lost in here somewhere."

"Yes."

"And so in order to find him, we also must get lost."

"Yes."

"And how do we know the difference between the real Noatak and a hallucination?"

"A hallucination is an idealization of the past. It will look and act as you expect it to. Noatak is flesh and blood- something far less easy to predict."

* * *

Noatak stood in the stillness of the swamp, eyes focused on two shapes, blurry in the muddy shallows. Water rose to his chest, tepid and brown and rank. Around him swam two fish- one a flawless moon white, another black as coal. In endless spiral they circled, a tireless duty that had existed since the beginning of time, and would be repeated for all eternity.


	7. Stasis

**Rating: **M for mindfuck. yep.

A/N: OMG GUYS there was non-consensual hugging JUST LIKE YOU REQUESTED. in all seriousness, I still love you all, even when you troll me.

* * *

Their first encounter with a hallucination happened not long after the initial argument. He stood in the water, a charismatic grin spread across his handsome

features, not a day older than 20, and all rationality slipped from Korra's mind, Tarrlok's warning forgotten.

"Mako?"

He was so young, so happy; what was that nagging feeling of wrongness? How could this possibly be wrong?

"Korra," he murmured, and she watched his features grow tired, hopeless, his amber eyes wide and wrought with pain.

"Mako, wait-"

He turned as though to leave- leave her forever, and she clambered over to the side of the boat, thinking,_ no, Mako, please come back…_

Korra tried to jump into the water, but someone was holding her by the arms. She thrashed angrily.

"The hell are you doing, asshole? Mako is-"

"Mako is a hallucination, stupid girl. Do you listen to anything anyone says ever?"

Korra slumped over the side of the boat with a groan. The hopefulness was escaping rapidly, and the feeling of stupidity was quickly settling in. She shot a

resentful pout at Tarrlok, and they continued to move slowly through the swamp. The silence was incredibly awkward. She began to dwell on the situation

she'd gotten herself into, and it started to become apparent just how disturbing it was.

She'd had sex. With both of them. She wasn't even sure which she was more disturbed by in the situation, because Tarrlok had always been a royal

sleezebag for lack of a better word, had absolutely no control of his explosive temper, and had mentally never grown up past the age of 14, judging by his

unstable ego, but on the other hand, he hadn't done the horrible mindjob on her Noatak had. Sex was simply another tool of manipulation for Noatak, and

he'd managed to draw both of them into it, and Korra was regretting giving her consent, because sex wasn't a magical solution to the emotional problems of

two mentally unstable men.

She remembered Noatak's response to her inquiry- _don't you feel strange doing this?_

He didn't. _Tarrlok and I hardly had a normal upbringing,_ had been his response. But why had he run, then, if it was just another act of manipulation? If he

wasn't disturbed by his actions, he would have continued the campaign of confusion against them- that was how Amon had worked, after all. She

remembered his exact words when she'd asked him why all those years ago. _Why? Why like this?_

_Because it's something we'll both grow to enjoy._

He was right. He was infuriatingly right. Regret is as she may, the next time his hands trailed across her torso, the next time he pulled her flush to his body

and she felt the heat emanating from his flesh, incinerating her with lust, would she say no? Would she say no to the feeling of his teeth grazing her neck,

cold teeth, hot mouth, the sinister sound of his voice?

She almost didn't notice that the boat had halted until Tarrlok's confused, frustrated murmur interrupted her disconcertingly lustful contemplation.

"It's not her. I know it's not, but-"

"Who?"

"None of your bussiness, Avatar," he spat angrily, and Korra recoiled at the venom in his tone. She honestly hadn't been expecting it- Tarrlok always called

her by her name, for one. And he'd just spent a good ten minutes embracing her nude in an ice-cold shower while she sobbed incoherently, for two.

"What? Jeeze, sorry," she said defensively, and he tried to dip the paddle back into the water and move forward, but his hands were trembling hard.

"Tarrlok?"

He said nothing, just made a jerky attempt at paddling and turned his head back, and she saw his pained expression for a moment before he shook his head

and allowed the wooden instrument to slip from his hands and into the water.

"Tarrlok!" Korra shouted, and he clawed at his hair frantically. "Hey, Tarrlok! It's not real! You just told me-"

"Shut up!" he growled, turning towards her with an agonized expression. "I don't care if it's real or not!"

"That's exactly what the swamp wants you to feel!" she protested, standing shakily as the wooden boat lurched and threatened to capsize due to his

steadily decreasing balance.

"Hey! Tarrlok! I'm still here, and I'm real!" she protested, and attempted to grab his arms as he had hers, but found his strength to be overwhelming- he tried

to push her off, so she threw herself around him, and for some reason he stilled- he was still looking at an oddly shaped stump that had been the source of

his emotional trauma, but after a while he submitted and the tenseness in his muscles eased into a fluid stance. She started to withdraw her arms from his

waist, but a strong hand braced on top of hers, and he let go for a moment, turning to face her and grabbing her hand again before she could draw it back.

He gazed at her palm, which was pathetically small next to his, his expression unreadable.

"You're just another person I will lose. If not to sense of duty and righteousness, then to mourning over my brother, as everyone I've lost has. That is why

I'd rather be alone."

Korra looked up at him. Her hand trembled in his grip, and she tried her best to make her face determined and strong. The sheer misery that was that

statement was settling in like a nasty storm. Tarrlok was old enough to have a family and children- he had been when she'd first met him years ago, and he

never had. At the time it had seemed like a deliberate decision to remain single for the sake of propelling his political career further and using his sexuality as

a method of intimidation…perhaps it had been, in a way, but there must have been a reason behind Tarrlok's loneliness. Perhaps he had known what a

terrible father he'd make, how he was destined to become a puppet of Yakone, and he had withheld his own happiness for the sake of his nonexistent wife

and children. Or perhaps no family would ever replace the one Noatak had destroyed when he ran away in that blizzard.

Neither option was comforting, just as Korra worried she could not be.

"Well, here we are," she murmured, looking up at him with a watery smile. "Two alone people…alone."

* * *

Noatak's hair hung in his face, heavy and dark and tickling the unscarred side of his face.

"I've seen you before," he whispered, dipping his fingers into the water, brushing against the cold, slimy body of the black fish, before it slipped away,

replaced by the white one. "You move, then- that does make sense…after all, the moon and the ocean aren't confined to one place, so why would your

physical bodies be?"

The fish did not respond immediately- they were fish, after all, and were silent as fish should be, chasing each other tirelessly, and Noatak watched them

with a surging loneliness that perhaps echoed the feeling of the two souls in the boat, near or far, it mattered not at this point. The swamp began to darken,

the marbled shafts of light peaking through the trees fading, the tepid water starting to gain the quality of a bath one has sat in for too long- still and dirty

and rapidly losing its temperature. Noatak remained there, standing and watching the twin fish yin yang in a circle around him, until the spiraling forms blurred

together, an intertwining universe of their own, where he stood at the center.

The light world was frightening in its beauty, so white-hot and blinding that it hurt to lay eyes upon it, forced him to look away and into the black expanse

with which it interlaced. The dark world was raw and lonely, a bitter cold void that longed to be filled, threatened to suck him in and crush him. Both were

overwhelming forces, but neither stronger than the other, and around and around him they spun, until Noatak became nauseous and weak and fell to his

knees, until the yin and yang amalgamated and melted together and created gradients- a world of shades and tints, of spidery, leafless white trees and

churning black oceans.

"You have visited us again, Noatak of the Northern Water tribe."

He had taken on a human form- dark skin and dark hair and dark clothes an ominous spot on the white landscape. His eyes were white- they glowed with a

blinding energy, and Noatak struggled to his feet, legs leaden and awkward, but he felt himself being pulled towards the spirit, who smiled coldly with

outstretched arms.

"La," Noatak said weakly, forcing his body to still, not to be sucked into this creature's being.

"If you do not accept the hand that is offered to you, you will drown," La replied.

Noatak closed his eyes, pain splitting through his head.

"Why me?" he hissed, trying to ignore the agony. "Why do you speak to me?"

"We speak to those who seek balance," a woman's voice echoed- she was a dazzling light in the inkblot sky, he could see her though his eyes were clamped

shut, and she was so beautiful that tears forced their way through his lashes and down his cheeks, though he told himself he didn't care.

"Balance," he exhaled. "You were the ones…who taught me-"

"How to create a block. But it was with the intent of you using it to remove the power of those who would abuse it, would use it to throw the world out of

balance."

It was no use shutting his eyes. Noatak opened them, vision drawn to the diamond-shaped mark stamped at the crown of La's head. La stepped forward,

and Noatak was unable to move back as he extended his thumb and pressed it to his forehead.

"It was you who lost sight of his search for equilibrium. It was you who threatened to throw the world out of balance," Yue echoed, her voice too warm, too

kind, it was too much- the landscape shifted, the darkness controlled by La growing in magnitude.

"I didn't-" Noatak said, heard his voice- it was young- he was 14 again, the reflection in the black water at his feet youthful and unscarred. His expression

was frightened, blue eyes the only color in the monochrome world. The landscape inverted- it was overwhelmingly white, now, and he saw a two human

blobs in the distance, little specks of gray. His senses became aware of temperature- of cold. He ran, he stumbled towards the figures, they were within

reach, the smaller one bending over the unconscious form of the adult, stood up tearfully-

"Noatak!" Tarrlok whimpered. Shut up, coward, shut up, stop crying-

The white landscape was changing again- he was in a pool of black water, surrounded by a gray-toned spirit oasis, leading up to a white expanse of ice and

snow surrounding him, La and Yue circling, circling…

"How can I protect the world from people like him? How can I protect my brother?" he heard himself ask.

"Empower the weak and lead them to ascension."

"Depower the strong and lead them to descent."

Noatak's body split with pain again- he was an adult once more, 40 years old, his vision framed by a mask, he was looking down at a girl's frightened face-

"You keep smiling, Avatar. Are you shameless?"

"That smile wasn't for you!"

_Why?_

_No one will smile for me anymore._

"I would reject you because you're a disgusting hypocrite."

_I'm not_

_I'm doing what's necessary. Empower the weak, Depower the strong…_

"You are the one who became too powerful," Yue said softly, her hand on his cheek, gentle, comforting…he still looked down at Korra, and she back at him,

her pupils quaking.

"I was going to destroy myself last…that was my goal," he whispered, to Yue, to the memory, and Korra's body melted, became La, his placid expression

horrifying; and Noatak, caught between the two magnetic forces, could not move.

"And you lost sight of it," La said coldly.

Noatak sucked in a breath of air, a tear splashing onto the diamond on La's forehead. The world rippled again, the swirling expanse of black and white space

once more, and La's body shrunk, twisted, became that of a fish, and Yue's touch was absent- they circled him once more, and he looked at his feet.

"What do I do to restore balance within myself," he asked, tired, hopeless.

Their voices were in unison; or not; they were one being, one sound, and it rang through his ears until he thought they would bleed. He became aware of a

horrible sting- the sensation of feelings deep within his flesh tingling and burning- no; healing, his nerves were numb to the point of oblivion, and all he could

hear was the words, like a tuneless song.

"Accept the hand that is offered or you will drown."

The world was muggy, it spoke of growth and decay, of lukewarms and insects droning, and Noatak opened his eyes and there were no fish at his feet, just

his own reflection, clear and unscarred and miraculously the same as it had been 7 years ago. He was exhausted, mosquito bitten, the pit of his stomach

empty and desperate in more ways than one. The moon was reflected benignly in the water, and he looked up at it, shielded his eyes from its brightness,

and all he could whisper was

"Thank you.


	8. Torrents

A/N:

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and support on Smirk and Thicker Than Water. I'm a girl who seems to have a lot of confidence, and I do, but I'm also the type who literally cries when she gets a touching review because it means SO MUCH to me that people enjoy my work. You have no idea. I've spent so much of my life being told I was a failure and feeling like I'd never live up to certain people's expectations and so even though I know I write well, that little nagging voice picks me apart, and I really come out of it when I see your comments and responses and notes.

When I go in the amorra chatrooms and people act like I'm important or something, I blush furiously. I do the same to others that I admire, and some of you are people I admire deeply as well, and think you're all so talented and sweet, and I'm just filled with awkward feels because I love my stuff and my writing and the fact that other people can see the sheer love and work I put into them touches me deep.

The fact that I have some sort of popularity or respect from you guys, on one hand it baffles me, but on the other I'm honored beyond words. I'm so excited because I want my two original stories to be published as comics someday (a friend is drawing one, I draw the other) and I really can use all the support I can get, because the world of publishing is hard. I'm so scared guys, but so excited, and I really feel grateful to my supporters because I hope you'll be there to back me, not just through my fics but through my personal endeavors as well. Now onto what you actually care about lol ;D

Rating: M for mmmmyisss here there be sexytimes. No sex though. Limes not lemons. But if life gives you limes, fap anyway.

* * *

They found him not long after their conversation, sitting in the boat with his legs crossed almost meditatively. At first she didn't recognize him- his hair was down and there was not a scar on his body, paler than usual in the moonlight.

At the sound of their paddle sloshing, the two of them pulling up next to him, he opened his eyes and it was unmistakably Noatak. Of all of his features, she could never forget those eyes, nor could she deny the familiarity in the way his lips twitched as though amused at their audacity in finding him.

Korra jumped, one boat to the next, her own government sanctioned vehicle bobbing under her weight, and she offered her hand to Tarrlok, who took it and stepped more carefully and with minimum turbulence but a rather nasty look, like he didn't particularly enjoy being treated like a lady. Noatak remained huddled at the far end with a conflicted expression. Oddly enough, it reminded Korra of when Naga did something bad but adamantly hoped she'd be forgiven and praised for something else. Noatak wasn't a polarbeardog, though, he was a psychopath, and humoring him after all the hell he'd put her through, today and in the past, was counterproductive.

"Are you ready to go back yet?" Korra asked him, somewhat irritated. He turned towards her and offered a weak smile of confirmation. A mosquito buzzed in her ear and she slapped the side of her face so it exploded into a smear of red across her palm. Tarrlok made a noise of disapproval when she softened at his expression.

"What happened to your scars?" he said suspiciously.

"You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you," Noatak shot back.

"Try me."

"I traveled to the spirit world and was blessed by the moon spirit."

"You win, I don't believe you."

Korra tried to shut them out, yanking the string to the motor so it roared over their voices. They continued to snipe at each other, occasionally pointing out hallucinations and bickering even more when they were proven false.

"That's a log. It's dark and the swamp is fooling you."

"It looks just like him."

"He's dead, Noatak, you killed him."

"You think I didn't know that? I was just saying it caught me off guard."

The engine was sputtering sadly, and Korra watched the gas-dial twitch near zero. She lifted the hatch on the deck open, looking for the fuel-storage tanks- they were all gone.

"You-"

"I forgot to tell you about that. I dumped them overboard."

"Why the hell would you-"

"I wasn't expecting to come back, was I," Noatak said softly, and Korra inhaled sharply, almost swallowing a bug in the process. As enraged as Tarrlok looked, he was starting to lose color quickly, and Korra quickly slammed the hatch shut and looked away.

"Now what!?"

"It's late anyway. There's no use looking for the village in the dark. Let's rest," Tarrlok suggested sardonically, and with a sigh Korra resigned. Noatak, who was already sitting against the edge of the boat, leaned back with his hands laced behind his head and sprawled comfortably. Tarrlok sat on the deck and seemed to contemplate his sleeping position very hard, while Korra curled onto her side and watched them. Noatak stared skyward, but the rise and fall of his chest became rhythmic and she realized he was asleep- asleep with his eyes open. Tarrlok tried to sleep sitting up but eventually crawled onto his side and twitched restlessly, letting out an unflattering snore. Korra, usually the first to be knocked out, felt restless and scared, the humming of insects and echoes of nightbirds making her jumpy.

* * *

She wasn't sure how long it took her to drift off, but when she awoke they were both gone and the boat was tethered to a tree and it was still a bit dark. She heard splashing a short distance away, and hugged her knees, waiting for them to return as the sun rose. When they did, it was with food- Noatak had speared some odd whiskered thing with webbed feet, five fish, and a small catgator. Tarrlok had a single eel, which was thrashing in his hand and still alive, apparently. He looked less than pleased. Korra's mouth watered and she reached for the stake in Noatak's hand while Tarrlok's eel wriggled free from his grasp and escaped into the water. He looked pretty pissed.

"Make sure you cook them evenly. Swamp fish can make you sick when they aren't cooked properly," he mumbled.

Korra nodded, then proceeded to roast the fish neatly, handing out meat to all of them, tearing into her own crispy fish without the slightest hint of womanly grace.

"Glad to see you're still yourself," Noatak said lightly.

"Well, I've had 7 years to recover," she said casually, and Tarrlok's gaze grew hard, he bit into his fish savagely and spit the bones over the edge. Noatak frowned.

When they were finished eating, Tarrlok started to maneuver the boat with waterbending. Perhaps he wanted to prove himself useful, or outdo his brother in some respect. Korra thought it was unfortunate because Tarrlok's form was flawless- he was a great waterbender in his own right, and water was one of the most difficult elements to master due to its uncontrollable nature. He didn't look 'stupid' either, he was very powerful and controled, and spent most of the day trying to get them back to the swamp tribe, with little success.

"What is going on?" Korra groaned in frustration. "It was so easy to get there the first time! Why now?!"

"It's hiding itself," Noatak said ponderously, hand on his chin. Tarrlok's movements were slowing down, so Korra took his place, less erratic than before from watching his form.

"The swamp is one big organism, and the great tree is at the center. But it will use illusions to make you unsure of yourself, it feeds on your own insecurities and desperations. If you feel lonely, you will see people you miss. You will be so enamored in the fantasy that the reality will be ignored, even if it's right under your nose."

"We found it fine before!"

"It doesn't always do that. The swamp seems to have a sense of humor, and emotions of sorts. It doesn't like when you chop down trees without asking first, for example. There are nuances."

"So you can talk to it?"

"No. I've never been able to. Only a certain type of person can."

Korra wrinkled her nose.

"I'm spiritually enlightened! I've been in and out of the spirit world tons of times. I'm sure the swamp will listen to me!"

They came across a small earthy clearing that rose above the water, surrounded by a grove of moss-laden trees. Korra parked the boat and stepped onto the moss, crouching down and thinking hard. Tarrlok tethered the boat to the nearest tree, while Noatak stepped out.

"What are you doing?" he asked Korra in response to her strange face.

"I'm trying to meditate!"

"You don't look very peaceful."

"Maybe I'd look more peaceful if you jackasses would stop talking to me!" Korra growled. Noatak chuckled, but they were both silent, leaning against trees while Korra tried for thirty minutes to talk to the swamp, her past lives, spirits, anyone. Nothing happened. The sun was already fading behind the branches, casting their grove into eerie shadows, before Korra gave up.

"Augh!" Korra screeched. "I'll just go Avatar state and-"

"Kill us all?" Tarrlok said sarcastically. Korra looked very upset indeed.

"Why is this swamp so confusing?"

"The swamp feeds off the fear of being seperated, which is why it's so easy to get lost," Tarrlok said. "If that's so, what needs to happen is-"

A screeching sound pierced the air like a giant needle. What appeared to be two scaly poles was standing in the water, and all three of them became aware of its presence as a clap of thunder and flash of lightning illuminated the creature, its feathery body a shadow against the lightninglit sky.

Korra had seen a Shangyang before. There was a book of illustrations- currently in Zuko's possession, but a collaborative effort of all of his old friends, of Spirits they had seen in their travels, of Aang's journeys to realms beyond, of his Uncle's encounters. The creature that stood above them- a crane with beanpole legs that seemed to stretch for meters, with silken wings that blocked out the sky with a thunderous clap- the Shangyang, it was a harbinger of storms, and Korra shouted above the clap of thunder that resonated from its beating wings- "We need to take shelter!"

* * *

Tarrlok hacked away at the branches of an Umbrella-bush sprouting out of a rotting pile of logs and detritus. At the foot of the mossy mound between trees, Korra held her own leaf above her head as the rain beat down- it was a large leaf, but it did little to keep her warm or dry in the torrential downpour. The Shangyang had disappeared as suddenly as it came, leaving with it an eerie cloudburst and raindrops that soon iced over and beat down upon their umbrella-plant coverings until Noatak froze a bridge between the trees that kept them safe from the tiny hailstones.

Watching them plop in the water, Noatak pulled Korra closer to him while she shivered. It stopped the cold, but not the trembling, because proximity to this man carried the full weight of her memories, and it seemed he had now fully transitioned from tormentor to protector while Tarrlok glowered and his complexion paled in his corner of the gathering. Clutching his wet arms and staring resolutely at the hailstones beating the swamp, he sulked until he could sulk no more, getting to his feet and making a distraction out of gathering wet logs and pulling water from them until they were somewhat dry. Korra watched in amusement as he tried unsuccessfully to spark a fire with two sticks, finally blowing a jet of flame onto the pile and crackling it to life, illuminating his face, which looked shadowy, sad, carved from wood in the hazy light. He said nothing in thanks, just started to rub his chilly hands together and stare at them as they moved closer to the heat, the ice ceiling dripping onto them and fire hissing.

"Good thinking," Noatak complimented him, and Tarrlok looked away resentfully. He tugged idly at his robes, seemingly annoyed by their dampness. It would be futile to remove the moisture at this point, the air was thick with humidity and it felt suffocating, even the fire wheezed from the effort of sustaining itself, and Korra tried constantly to keep it going. The hail faded back to water, running down the ice-roof and melting it, so drops of freezing liquid splashed into their hair. Tarrlok started unclasping his top and pulled it off, tossing it to the side in frustration and moving closer to the fading warmth. His stringy dark hair hung in his face. Korra moved away from Noatak and towards him, putting her arm around him and smiling, but he flinched away from her. Korra wrinkled her nose.

"If you're cold you should share body heat with someone."

"I'm fine," he grumbled. "Besides, your shirt is wet, it only makes it worse."

Noatak watched from across the fire, expression partially amused, partially unreadable. Korra started to pull her own shirt over her head, saw nothing but felt him slide to the left a bit before she got the clingy fabric past her hair and tossed it on top of his.

"Really, now," Noatak said with a raised eyebrow.

"Clothes only make it colder, he's right," she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. Tarrlok was trying pointedly not to look at her, but she wrapped her arm around his shoulder again, drawing herself against his cold skin. She wasn't much warmer than him, but he didn't push her away, just looked down at his feet as she pressed her cheek against his neck.

"This is hardly appropriate."

"Neither was yesterday," Korra reminded him, and she felt his body tense against hers. Noatak chuckled audibly.

"Is that a hint that I should do something?" he mused out loud, and Tarrlok became so tense Korra wondered if his muscles would seize up from the strain.

"I wasn't saying that, but we really should try to keep warm."

Noatak, across the fire, was figiting his hands idly, something that Korra didn't think much about until her body became significantly warmer. Tarrlok's eyes darted to his brother's and narrowed suspiciously.

"What are you doing?"

"Increasing bloodflow. Were you not cold?" he said innocently.

"You do realize what that does, don't you?" Tarrlok hissed.

"No, feel free to let me know in gratuitous detail," Noatak said with a mischievous smirk.

Tarrlok's hand balled into a fist, Korra noted, and she watched the angry look in his eyes fade to resignation and resentment.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you need to stop taking everything so seriously."

"No, it's the other way around, Noatak! You take nothing seriously! Nothing you say, nothing you do, your own ideals, you just throw them away at the drop of a hat and start over. You learn absolutely nothing from your mistakes!"

"At least I'm not afraid to make them."

"You think I haven't made mistakes in my life?" Tarrlok said quietly. Korra felt intrusive then, still holding onto him for warmth that was unnecessary now. In fact, it was probably Noatak across the fire that felt cold at this moment. She slowly started to unwind her arms from his and pulled herself away, the air chilling her once more as the fire hissed and went out completely, casting them in shadows.

"Staying behind and letting you run away was the biggest regret of my life. And I'm not going to let it keep happening."

"Do you remember what you said to me when we were kids?"

Korra clamped her mouth shut, willed herself not to hear. It wasn't for her, this conversation, she shouldn't be here, but Tarrlok said it anyway, like it was a mantra he'd repeated to himself in the years of Noatak's absence.

"I said...I would wait for you. But I got tired of waiting for a brother that would never come back."

"What if I told you I'm back this time? For good?"

"I wouldn't believe a word of it," Tarrlok said irritably.

"I've changed this time. And I'll prove it. To both of you."

He stood. She could hardly see him, a flicker of fire appearing in her palm and illuminating his form as he approached her, and she did not back away, did not fear this man, for his expression was soft, it was nervous, and it almost didn't belong on this face. He crouched down in front of them, the rain beating down on their icy umbrella, and put his hand on her face gently. Still next to her, Tarrlok's body shifted. Noatak's fingers were cold.

"Tarrlok," he said gently, still cupping Korra's face. "I won't force you to do anything you don't want to. You don't have to watch, you don't have to take part. But I want her right now, and the burning in her veins returns the feeling."

Korra felt a dull thud in her chest. She embraced him, only her bra separating the skin of their chests, and as he enveloped her the sticky coldness and humidity was forgotten in favor of slick, warm skin and the smell of earth and decay and new life. He freed her hair from its ties, smoothed it back from her face, and kissed her gently, no tongues, no teeth, just lips. As he pressed his body against hers she leaned back against the tree behind her. Noatak kissed her neck and she twisted her head to the side, she caught a glimpse of Tarrlok- he was watching, but quickly turned away and stared at his feet again, as though they had personally wronged him.

Noatak unclasped her bra. He pulled down her pants and lowered his head between her legs, so that she let out a surprised gasp and shut her eyes, water droplets sticking to her lashes as she tossed her head back and forth. Nobody had ever done this to her. On some level it felt wrong, as though the act where entirely one-sided and she was being selfish, but Korra recognized it for what it was- an apology, a confirmation that this was not for his gratification- for her, it was all for her. The hotness of his tongue penetrating her, his fingers running across her skin like feathers, pressing down and grinding against her, it was an unselfish gesture, meant to indulge, not to humiliate. She gasped girlishly, she felt the heat in her cheeks burning almost painfully against the trickling rain, the rough bark of the tree against her back almost unnoticeable- her surroundings were fading, so was her knowledge of Tarrlok's position, until she realized he was there too, right next to her again, rough hand stroking her cheek so she looked at his face.

"Is this OK.." he said, resentfully almost. His expression was a mournful kind of longing, as though he still felt wrong, so she kissed him, opening her mouth as Noatak did something particularly shocking and pressing her tongue against his, which did not yield immediately- he was still uncertain of the morality of the situation.

And then he was kissing her back, her entire body overwhelmed with the sensation of both of them, so gentle and loving that it almost didn't seem right. She wanted someone to grab her or treat her roughly, to demean or threaten her, because that was all she knew of them, all she had come to expect. But this...this was nice too, she wrapped her arms around Tarrlok as he kissed her neck, his hands smooth across her rain-splattered skin, Noatak was hitting the same spot repeatedly, causing her body to wrack in pleasure and convulse unexpectedly against his brother's. Oh Spirits, she had almost forgotten they were brothers, that this was completely and utterly wrong on so many levels; no, her mind was slipping from that reality, all she could do was hold on tight to Tarrlok, almost painfully so, but he paid no mind, just buried his head in the crook of her neck as she started to gasp and moan uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry too," Tarrlok whispered, words that barely even registered at this point.

It was over when she shut her eyes and clamped her mouth shut, lungs working rapidly to recover from the experience, and she moved herself into Tarrlok's space entirely, practically in his lap, exhausted and burning all over, which was fortunate for him because he was cold again, and he stroked her hair soothingly and she felt her heartrate slow to match his.

Noatak sat next to her, leaned his back against them. Korra wrapped her arm around his.

"I've changed," he whispered again, as though not even he believed it, but Korra nodded her head in reassurance. The grove seemed to smell strongly of flowers and less of decay in the afterglow of the experience, and she could almost forget who they were, convince herself that the situation wasn't fucked, and ignore the harsh truth than in less than a week, Tahno would return and they'd have to start over once more.

But that was far from her mind. They sat that way for a while, back to back with her limbs intertwined in theirs, world quiet save for the beating rain drowning out their labored breathing, and Korra didn't feel quite so lost.


	9. Choke

a/n: hey guys, sorry this is late! It's been on tumblr for a while now and I keep forgetting about D: Reviews have slowed down a bit on both fics it seems, so I hope I'm not boring you all with too much plot, I know a lot of people like the smut :) Smirk also updated today, for those of you who haven't read the prequel to this. Anyway, on to the story! Thanks for reading!

* * *

It was muggy and hot when Korra awoke the next day, half-naked with her head on Tarrlok's chest. As she moved her head away, her cheek stuck to his skin a bit, everything damp and odorous, and he too opened his eyes, looking at her with a sad reluctance.

"Again," he sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing," Korra said impatiently, rising and drawing the water from her clothes and hair tiredly, tossing the liquid aside and into the swamp. "If you have no interest in me, then stop giving in-"

"It's not that I have no interest in you, Korra, it's that it's _wrong_-"

"Says who? Your morals?"

Tarrlok seemed to groan a bit at this. Korra looked around, already fed up with his moping, and subconsciously found herself searching for Noatak. She caught herself, crossing her hands over her chest, and pegged it up to the desire to keep going. The boat bobbled in the water innocently.

"Where's your brother?"

"Do I look like I know? He must have gone off while we were…sleeping."

Together. Sleeping together. Was this going to become a habit, she wondered? She looked at Tarrlok, whose expression had become exaggeratedly nervous. He was covering his crotch none too conspicuously, and Korra started to laugh.

"What," he spat bitterly.

"Isn't it a bit early to be pitching the love tent?"

Tarrlok grumbled something under his breath.

"Want me to help you with it?" Korra asked mischievously.

Tarrlok hesitated for a second, before muttering a resolute "No."

"You're so conservative, Tarrlok," Korra said, sticking out her tongue. He got to his feet gingerly, smoothing his pants and refusing to look at her. "Why, though? Why does it bother you so much? You said you were attracted to me, we've already gone about as far as you can go…farther than I thought you could go, anyway," she added as an afterthought.

Tarrlok said nothing, just stood and braced his hand against the tree they'd fallen asleep against.

"Is it because of your brother?"

"Yes and no," he said quietly.

"What, then?"

"You don't want to hear it."

"Actually, I do."

"You want to hear it until the words come out, but by then I can't take them back." His voice had a tiredness to it that was beyond a mere earlybird's regret.

"Try me."

"I don't want…to take advantage of you after he's already tainted your mind to think it's ok."

Korra bit her lip, hands balled at her sides and shaking slightly.

"You'll deny and deny it…you'll say he's troubled, that you've forgiven him…I can't say I'm a flawless human being, either. I was already attracted to you, and the opportunity arose…I did…I was like him, I was like our father. I used you for my satisfaction, and I would do it again. That's why I have to stop myself…that's why I can't let this continue. Like my brother, I could not kill the monster that slept in me…I could only let it hibernate, and toss it food cautiously."

"Then…"

'Then?"

Korra stepped towards him. He narrowed his eyes, but did not step away, held his ground and looked at her coldly. She reached her hand for his bare chest and touched him hesitantly.

"Learn to reciprocate rather than take. It's not too late to learn."

* * *

Noatak returned with food once more. Korra fried the unfortunate swamp-critters and they dug in. Tarrlok's appetite was significantly smaller than Noatak's, who also seemed less discriminate in the quality of his food. Whatever he was eating was bloated and green and had spiny fins, but he ripped into it as though it were the finest delicacy and grinned when he caught Tarrlok's mildly disgusted stare.

"Swamp croakers?"

"Taste like pork-poultry."

'I'm sure."

Tossing the bones and guts into the water (a giant gatorcat surfaced and snapped at the remains) they boarded the boat, Tarrlok pushing it into the water and jumping onto the surface, perhaps as a 'take that' to Korra's chivalry from yesterday. She wasn't sure how he felt after their conversation; Noatak had returned shortly afterwards and complicated the moment.

The three of them took turns maneuvering the boat foggy swamp style, Korra and Tarrlok seated for the moment. She was constantly looking out for hallucinations, but there were none this time. In between keeping watch she became aware of Tarrlok's eyes boring into her, before she became nervous and had to say something.

"What," Korra blurted.

"I'm thinking," he snapped back. "Am I not allowed to think?"

"Fine, fine, sorry." Korra sighed, but he continued to steal glances at her, and her at him.

"What are you thinking about?" she finally asked.

"Why we're lost," he said.

Then there was more silence.

"Maybe we can't find our way back because we're dwelling on something," Korra finally rationalized.

"Hn?"

"I mean, you said you have to get lost to find the lost, right? To find the found, maybe you have to find...something...in yourself."

Tarrlok was staring at her unabashedly now, as though she were a strange creature Noatak had offered him for breakfast. Finally he acquiesced.

"It makes sense," he said to Noatak, who was listening to them now, his arms slowing down. "The swamp likes to mess with people. It has a way of 'teaching lessons' to people it's unhappy with."

"So what do we do?" Noatak grunted.

"I don't know, ask Miss spiritual over there," he sighed, and suddenly both of them were looking at Korra.

"I think..." she listened to the sounds of nature, all its croaks and buzzing and humming, and she closed her eyes. "We need to accept that we have already found home before we can find the village."

"What?"

"Home..." Noatak murmured. Tarrlok hissed in dissent.

"The village _is_ home. Don't try to get more philosophical than your brain is capable, Avatar."

"You're wrong," Korra said quietly. "Home is family. Home is the people you care about. If we dwell too much on what we've lost rather than being grateful for what we have, the swamp will keep sending us on a wild goose chase."

No one could think of anything to argue. Korra took over paddling and the other two fell silent, stared at each other the way Republic City's catcoons would while deciding whether to attack or make peace.

They were interrupted by a scream from Korra, who had fallen back onto the deck. Tarrlok rushed to her side, while Noatak directed his gaze towards what had frightened her.

"H-hand!" Korra quibbled. "A child's hand!"

It hung from the tree above their heads, red and bloody and helpless. Noatak had a look of concern on his face, and Korra was still shocked beyond belief, pointing at it with a quaking finger.

"We should keep going," Tarrlok said quietly, but Korra stood up, reached her own hand towards it, stretching to reach it.

"Korra," Tarrlok said, more urgent now. "Leave it."

"We need to help!" she cried, fingertips brushing its red digits and then suddenly-

Suddenly it had grabbed onto her wrist and was crawling up her arm- disembodied, terrible and slimy, and Tarrlok recoiled while Korra yelped, trying to tear it away from her as its vicegrip closed over her neck.

Korra couldn't breathe. She struggled against it, eyes bulging, and Noatak extended his hand forward but Tarrlok was faster- the creature, whatever it was, twisted and screamed in midair, and he gritted his teeth preparing his hand to crush it as it squealed like a helpless mouse.

Korra held her throat, breathing heavily, Noatak bracing her. Filled with terror and pity, she watched Tarrlok's dark expression as the hand twitched and screamed.

"Please!"

The words shocked him- Tarrlok dropped the hand and it hit the deck, scuttling away like a blind, morbid crab and curling in a corner near as far from them as it could get. It raised its burnt-looking fingers and hissed.

"Let me finish it," Noatak said, stepping between the two of them and the pitiful monster, but it spoke again, a hole on its palm parting to reveal bloody white teeth and a high-pitched voice.

"Spare me! Spare me and I will help you!" it cried, and Noatak hesitated for just a moment before he began to torture it again.

Korra, still rubbing her neck, put her hand on his arm. The creature stopped screaming and heaved as though it had lungs.

"What do you have to tell us? What are you?!"

"Spirit! I'm from the Spirit world! Spare me, oh mighty Avatar!"

Korra looked at it with mingled concern and disgust.

"What do you have to tell us?" she asked it aggressively. "Tell me now and maybe we won't kill you."

"The equinox is coming, Avatar! The swamp will become a full portal to the spirit world on the final day, and an ancient spirit will descend on the foggy swamp village for retribution!"

"Retribution for what?" Korra demanded, pointing her finger at it. "What is the spirit?! Tell us now!"

The hand cackled. Noatak extended his palm again and the creature cowered.

"Don't know! I don't know! We're just simple spirits looking to feed!"

"Well you'd better not try it here again, you hear me?" Korra said, pointing at still shaking monster. "I've got my eye on you spirits! I've dealt with troublemakers like you before, and I'll deal with you again!"

"Y-yes, mighty Avatar!"

They floated close enough to a tree for the hand to scuttle over to the edge of the boat and scramble up the trunk, laughing raucously. Noatak looked like he still wanted to kill it, but Tarrlok put his hand over top of his. Korra started to move the boat forward again, still a bit shaken, but trying to save face. She looked towards the brothers, the younger who slowly relinquished his grip on the older, parting his lips to say

"I'm grateful for you, Noatak."

Korra almost fell over again. Noatak's expression was more subtly confused, but definitely baffled. Where was this coming from?

"My entire adult life I thought you were lost forever. When I found you again...who you had become...I was upset, but...I realize that I have done my fair share of evil as well. Perhaps...I can forgive, but...I don't think I can ever forget. I'm not sure I can trust you. But I won't pretend...that I don't love you regardless. You saving Korra proves to me that you experience remorse and concern."

"I'm glad," Noatak said quietly. Korra stopped all attempts to paddle at this point. The two of them were far more serious than she was accustomed to, particularly Noatak, and her heart was beating a million miles a minute. Intense. It was too intense...

"If you forgot...if you trusted me again, you'd be naive. I don't trust you either, Tarrlok. But yes, I do love you."

Korra exhaled. They rounded a corner. The top of the giant tree loomed in the distance, and she clutched her chest.


End file.
